Thanksgiving in Ukraine

We were able to have Thanksgiving with missionaries and Ukrainian seminary students. In total, we had about 60 people! We introduced these seminary students to our holiday traditions; food, food and more food! And of course a football game that one of the missionaries downloaded on his computer so that they could watch it (as well as the Macy’s parade from last year). They weren’t sure what to make of American football. A few of the guys wanted to start a game right then and there, while some of the others watched in horrified fascination before agreeing that Americans are a little odd!



We were able to have turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and even pumpkin pie! The students didn’t know what to do with the stuffing & the gravy, but the rest of the food disappeared quickly. Esther thought the cafeteria was her personal dance floor & had a lot of fun running around. Before I knew it she found a 2 liter bottle of sprite and was trying to drink out of it. Fortunately the cap was on and it was empty. 


At the end of the evening one of the students came up to me with a confused smile on his face. “I don’t think I understand the meaning of your holiday. In Ukraine for our holidays we have programs, services and rituals but all you do is get together & eat!” We really did try to explain the meaning behind Thanksgiving, but I think the food distracted him. Overall it was a wonderful evening of fellowship with brothers & sisters from all over America, as well as the former Soviet Union!




Somebody beat me to it!



The entrance to our apartment

Our stairwell

Watch out for random holes!

                                                                                                                                                                            

The view from our window

How to Embarrass Yourself on the Mission Field

There are obviously many ways to embarrass yourself in life, but on the mission field it just seems easier. Those of you who know my dad might argue it’s just the Sturley syndrome (if you’re reading this dad, sorry), but it certainly reaches another level over here.



1) Talk. That’s really all you have to do. When you are approached on the street you instantly get that feeling of panic and think, “Please oh please don’t talk to me.” An example…. the Russian verbs “to write” and “to pee” are very similar. This leads to some very unfortunate situations….. “Wait just a second, I have to go write.” “Could you pee the word in my notebook so I know how to spell it?” “Hold on, let me pee your number down.” Even if you get lucky and say a grammatically correct sentence, heads will still turn. Your accent, mannerisms, or something will still give you away. You are always very aware that you are a foreigner.


2) Forget to put a coat & hat on your child between October & May. It doesn’t matter what the weather is, this is an unwritten rule in Ukraine. Fail to dress your child for an arctic blizzard and you risk the wrath of every older lady between here & Moscow. They are not shy in sharing their opinion either. You are either an evil or unbelievably stupid parent. The experience of getting yelled at by total strangers takes some getting used to, but it’s not too bad.


3) Walk your dog through an open-casket funeral. This recently happened to me as I unsuspectingly opened the door to our building’s only entrance. There was on open casket, flowers, icons, priests, a hearse, pall-bearers, the works. The crowd was set so that the building entrance was the focal point, and the dog & I were center stage. I almost crossed myself and said, “May she rest in peace.” There was no room to walk around the crowd, so I walked through it. Awkward, but when the dog has to go, he has to go….


I am sure we will add to this list as time goes on. Learning to laugh at yourself is an important survival skill!

Superiority Complex

In his book Cross-Cultural Servanthood, Duane Elmer shares how in his many years of research and experience he asked people from many different cultures how missionaries could be more effective in representing Christ in their culture. The most common answer he received was, "Missionaries could more effectively minister the Gospel of Christ if they did not think they were so superior to us."


Now no missionary I know would claim to be superior to the culture they are living and ministering in. After, however, you spend 6 months or a year in a place where people appear to be much more rude & reserved than you are used to, a place where your apartment stairwells are filthy & smell like a combination of urine & vomit, a place where apathy, alcoholism, & a lack of efficiency seem to be ever present, then feelings of superiority come flying to the surface.

One of the most frustrating aspects of this first year on the mission field is the lack of ministry opportunities for us, and how unexpectedly slow it’s been building relationships with the people here. It’s been a time of learning to let our original expectations die & open ourselves up to the purposes God may have for us during this time. I think one of those purposes has been to expose and deal with a superiority complex that is more ingrained in us than we realize. It is a humbling reminder that in order to bring about change through the Gospel, we ourselves must continually be changed by its truth.

Breakthrough

About a month ago I was yelled at, quite abrasively by some older ladies. I had let Hanjik pee on a bush right in front of our apartment building. I even had one lady follow me to the door telling me all of the other places that Hanjik could go the bathroom.  I didn’t know that people who live on the 1^st floor of an apartment are allowed a small area to grow flowers (So apparently this was someone’s flower garden….whoops!). All I could say in Russian was that I was sorry.  Maybe it’s good that I couldn’t understand everything because even with the little I could understand I must admit that my reaction was less than “Christ-like”. These ladies sit outside on this bench for hours every day.  I’ve heard them yell at other people.  They seem to have little purpose besides watching and waiting to yell at anyone who does something wrong.  After this encounter I knew that it would take time to undo what happened. After smiling at them and saying hi every day for weeks, they have finally started to smile back! They have started to ask questions about Hanjik and where we are from. One lady even informed me that the elevator was broken so I should call Gabe to have him help carry Esther and the stroller up the stairs. They always enjoy seeing Esther and smile when she waves hi. One of these ladies asked if we liked it here.  When I told her yes, she replied with surprise that she didn’t know why.  My heart went out to her as I see her life with no hope.  Even though I can’t minister much through my words because of the lack of language I pray that the Lord can shine through my presence.

Kolya Then & Now

Kolya

Last month we were able to visit the transitional home in Kiev we ministered in 5-6 years ago. The same Ukrainian couple (Bogdan & Anya) are still running the home, and it was wonderful to catch up with them.  They usually have anywhere from 10-20 orphan graduates staying with them (in 2 different buildings located on the same small piece of property).  It was neat to hear about the kids who have come through the home, although it certainly made us feel old since some of them now have families of their own!  By God's grace many of them seem to be walking with the Lord.
     The highlight of the evening for us was getting to see Kolya again.  Some of you may remember Kolya was the boy I was forced to return to the orphanage 6 years ago. We were very close and that was a heartbreaking time for both of us.  He wasn't the same kid after that, turning bitter and cynical.  Bogdan & Anya didn't give up on him however, and now he has made a confession of faith, been baptized, and is pursuing Christ!
     It was exciting for me to see kids who I first met in the orphanage 7-8 years ago doing so well.  As a result of Bogdan & Anya's ministry, the culture at this orphanage is gradually changing.  The children are realizing that there are other options besides crime & alcohol.  It is very rewarding to see this ministry bearing fruit & exceeding the expectations it was begun with.  We pray we can have a similar ministry to the children here in Odessa!

Our trip downtown

 I put Esther in the stroller and we were off to the bus stop. Unfortunately the elevators didn’t work but at least we are just on the 5^th floor.  You never know how long you are going to wait for the bus it could be a couple minutes or 20 minutes. So as soon as I see the bus coming, I quickly fold up the stroller, sling the diaper bag on my shoulder, grab Esther, and make sure I have the bus fare in my hand. Even though it’s one of the beginning stops there still aren’t any seats. It’s definitely not easy (or should I say safe) to stand up on a lurching bus holding Esther and the stroller while I’m holding onto the rail…do I even have a free hand?! Fortunately there is always someone who will give up their seat since I have a baby. It takes less than a minute before sweat is already running down your back. They don’t really believe in opening the windows even when it’s 85 and humid. And if they do have them open, if they see a baby, they will close them b/c they don’t want the baby to get sick from the breeze. A good Ukrainian slogan would be "If you're not sweating, we're not satisfied!"  The bus ride downtown takes about 40 minutes. I am blessed that Esther usually does really well on the bus even when she is all sweaty. There was an old lady who sat down next to us and just talked away. She let Esther put her legs on her lap and went on about how good Esther was. She didn’t go longer than 15 seconds before she started talking about something else. I understood maybe a quarter of what she was saying to me. I was able to answer the few questions she asked so I don’t think she knew that I didn’t really understand much. I just prayed that I could minister to her by listening. It was wonderful to feel a breeze when we got off the bus. We walked around seeing all the vendors and then grabbed ice cream and went to the park. It was so nice to see a park that was clean with well cut green grass. You weren’t supposed to go on the grass but it was nice to look at. We also went into a big children’s store which of course Esther loved. They even had someone dressed up as Mickey Mouse! I couldn’t believe it. Esther just smiled and went right over to him. But when she started coming back to me and realized that Mickey was following her, she got this panicked look and quickly held up her hands to me.  All in all it was a fun day.

Don't Always Agree

The other week we received a box from Sarah's parents.  I was talking with the young man who delivered the box, and he was very curious about why we are in Ukraine.  I was able to tell him some about what we are doing, but I couldn't understand everything he was saying.  As I told him this, he nodded sympathetically and said (still in Russian), "Yeah, Russian is a debilniy language."  I didn't understand that word (debilniy), but I figured he meant it was a hard language so I agreed.  That word sounded familiar though.  Later I remembered that I had heard that word at an orphanage years before (it's slang), and it means "retarded".  So here is this guy I'm trying to witness to, and I agree with him that his native language is retarded and backwards.  Score another one for me.  I guess it's not always safe to be agreeable.

Daily Life

“Kindness has converted more sinners than zeal, eloquence, or learning.”  Frederick W Faber

I don't know who Frederick Faber is but we like this quote, especially since we have no eloquence right now!  We are starting to get more opportunities to relate to people and try out our limited Russian, which has been encouraging.  When we're idiots hopefully we can at least be kind, smiling idiots!

        A typical day for us starts with language school that lasts 3 hours. We study at the seminary which is about 1 ½ miles away. Sometimes we are able to take the bus and other times it breaks down and we walk. We live on the extreme northern edge of the city, so on our walk to language school we leave the city and enter a village. You always know when you're leaving a city because there is a sign of the city's name with a big X through it.  It's quite subtle.  Odessa is a city of about 1 million people, so there are many people from these nearby villages who come to sell their items at the renok (which is like a flea market).

After language school one of us goes to the store. We have to go to the store more often because you can only take back what you can carry and sometimes you are walking up to a mile with your groceries. I learned that one the hard way! Then we come home and unwind a little because your mind can only handle so much Russian. Because you walk more you are able to observe interesting aspects of the culture. Most people don’t have dryers so you either hang up your clothes on a rack or on a line in your balcony. Well, sometimes you end up finding pants, shirts etc. in the trees because the wind blew them off the line. The other day I actually saw a rug up in a tree!! 

     

Helplessly Trying to Help Others

We have been here for nearly 3 months now, and we are learning that missions is not all ministry and activity, sometimes it is waiting and prayer.  We expected this to a certain degree as it takes time to study Russian and form relationships, but this process has been more challenging than we anticipated.  For 2 years we prayed about being here, dreamed about being here, and shared that dream and vision with others.  It takes so much effort to get here and so many people give in order to send us that as a missionary you want to repay that investment.  You get to the mission field excited to serve and help others, and then you realize you are the one who needs help.  Help to communicate, help to figure out how to live here, patience and kindness from Ukrainians to help with loneliness, and help to even get an opportunity to minister to orphans.  It is a humbling process.
         
          While we know this phase will not last forever, the most difficult apsect of life here so far is the overpowering sense of uselessness we feel.  Being away from friends, family, & what is comfortably familiar can be difficult, but we would be much more willing to make those sacrifices if it immediately led to lives being changed and the Gospel advancing.  When that is not the case, the impatience and discontent that often lies just beneath the surface in our lives quickly surfaces.  Scarcely a week goes by that we don't ask ourselves, "Why are we here again?"  Then we remember that the purpose of this move was never going to be seen in 3 months, or 6 months, and it might not be seen by us at all.  Our job is to obey our Heavenly Father, and usually that obedience includes a time of waiting.  In my mind I was prepared to do great things for the Lord but not prepared to simply wait on Him.  However, as we were reminded recently by a pastor and good friend, waiting starves the heart of its idols, and teaches us Who is running the universe and Who is running our lives.  We pray this period of waiting and perceived helplessness will lead to a life and ministry where the excellence of the power will be of God, and not of us.
       

Earlier this week we got to see the transitional home Blagodat (Grace) Church is building for their orphan graduates.  It is huge, more like a small dorm!  It is 4 stories, and is designed so that each room is complete with a bathroom and small kitchen.  There are large rooms that could be used for Bible study & fellowship, movie nights, games, etc.... lots of ministry potential!  We also met Peter, an older Ukrainian (or in the prime of life for those of you over 50) who has been working with Odessa orphans for 10 years.  He showed us around and we discussed with him and Alfie (our team leader the possibilities of moving there in the fall.  We kept telling Peter that we are very open to that possibility, but nothing is decided yet.  That didn't seem to phase him however... as he showed us around he kept making comments like, "This is where you'll live, and in this room Gabe can lead Bible studies while Sarah brings the kids snacks."   When we asked him what the plans were for one large room he responded with, "Whatever you decide."  He seems like a very gentle man who is thrilled to have some help with this ministry.  We look forward to getting to know him better.  It is neat to see a church that has a heart for orphans, and that is investing so much in them.  We will continue to pray about where God would have us after our language improves, but it was exciting to see one potential ministry for us!

Balancing the Books

A couple weeks ago our heat was shut off.  We were surprised since it was only the middle of March, but fortunately it wasn't too cold.  A day and a half later it was turned back on.  Apparently Odessa was behind on its payments for heat to Kiev, so they just shut off the heat to the whole city.... 1 million people.  I guess that's one way to balance the books! 
    Our fun times at with language continue.... Gabe said he was born in 1880 and Sarah discovered the verb that means go clean the toilet.  Everytime we leave our apartment we are torn between wanting to make friends, and then thinking when someone approaches us, "Please oh please don't talk to me."  Gabe also got unanticipated language practice when he was cornered by a drunk outside our building.  The man liked Esther and said he always wanted a daughter but he just had 3 sons.  He said maybe we stole his daughter from him and kept asking which apartment we lived in.  Gabe pretended to not understand him (usually we don't have to pretend) and got away as soon as he had the chance.  You never know what you're gonna get!

Shopping in Odessa

Celebrating Esther's birthday in our new home

Cultural Glimpses

My language teacher was recently trying to explain a couple words to keep me from getting (more) confused. The Russian word for bank is the same as ours, but they also have a banka, which is a jar. She said in America we put our money in a bank, but in Ukraine they put their money in a banka, because they know at least it will still be there when they want it. Exchanges like this give us interesting glimpses of the mentality here!

       In Ukraine the city of Donetsk is said to be the father of the Ukrainian mafia, and Odessa the mother. Although foreign investment appears to have increased since we last lived in Kiev in 2006, the corruption and poverty that are so ingrained here have not diminished. Immorality and drug use have also soared…. outside of Africa, many believe Ukraine has the highest HIV rate in the world. These realities will be important for us to keep in mind as we work with orphans.
       Recently at a team meeting we were praying for various requests of Send’s missionaries in Ukraine. The list of requests included ministries such as teaching pastoral training courses in Russian, and it certainly portrayed an impressive depth of experience and giftedness…. people much more intelligent and educated than us! As I read this list and considered my own relative helplessness with the language, I felt very small. How will God ever be able to use us here? Then I remembered that we are not here because of a talent or education or something we can offer, we are here because of who Jesus Christ is. May this truth continue to transform us and those we meet as continue our life here.

Getting Settled

We have been in Odessa for over 3 weeks now, and it is slowly starting to feel like home. We live on the 5th floor of a 16 story building and our apartment is quite comfortable. Just about everything we need is within a 30 minutes’ walk so we are thankful to be in such a convenient location. Our days have been filled with gradually buying appliances and other necessities to set up our home, as well as language studies. The tiny dumpster that services our building has been overflowing since our arrival and I’m sure the rumors are flying about the Americans who bring out boxes & trash every time they go outside.



Our flight here was challenging with a dog and a baby, but customs officials barely looked at us (after the hours & numerous appointments Sarah put in to make sure Hanjik’s paperwork was in order), and we were able to hire a Ukrainian to help us navigate the confusing airport system with our mountains of luggage. Esther had severe jet lag combined with some serious teething for the first 10 nights so I’m sure we’re not very popular with our new neighbors. Fortunately Sarah’s parents were able to accompany us and help us with this transition, for which we are very thankful!


Now that the dust is settling from our move, the reality of our new life and the land that is now our home is beginning to hit us. Our emotions go back and forth, from joy that we are finally here to wondering why in the world we ever wanted to move to this country. At our commissioning service last November, we were reminded that missions is God’s idea, not ours. That truth, combined with the knowledge that God has called us here, is an assurance we will cling to in the upcoming months.

Where do we Belong?

As our possessions are somewhere on the Atlantic Ocean and we make our final preparations for moving to another country, I find myself reflecting on our new lack of an identity. Where do we belong? We have resigned from our jobs and much of the interaction we have with those in our community is tempered by the knowledge that we are leaving soon. We have loved our home and life here, but our hearts and focus are being directed to our upcoming life and ministry in Odessa.

          I can recall from prior experience however, that this lack of belonging will not go away when we arrive in Ukraine. Every day it will be reinforced as we deal with a language and culture that is much different from ours. Our level of proficiency in these areas will increase but there will always be some differences, no matter how long we live there. We will never completely fit in.
       I am learning to appreciate that this journey of missions can make me aware of truths I had not previously noticed. Certainly our proficiency must increase in living with and loving people where God has called us to live, but as sinners redeemed by Christ we should deal with this lack of belonging every day we are on this earth. Paul says in Philippians 3:20 that our citizenship is in heaven, reminding us that our true identity is tied not to a location or culture but to Christ Himself. As wonderful as this world can be, we were created for something much more fulfilling.  This journey helps me remember that ultimately the question of where we belong must be asked of us not as missionaries, but of all of us as followers of Jesus Christ.