How to Embarrass Yourself on the Mission Field

There are obviously many ways to embarrass yourself in life, but on the mission field it just seems easier. Those of you who know my dad might argue it’s just the Sturley syndrome (if you’re reading this dad, sorry), but it certainly reaches another level over here.



1) Talk. That’s really all you have to do. When you are approached on the street you instantly get that feeling of panic and think, “Please oh please don’t talk to me.” An example…. the Russian verbs “to write” and “to pee” are very similar. This leads to some very unfortunate situations….. “Wait just a second, I have to go write.” “Could you pee the word in my notebook so I know how to spell it?” “Hold on, let me pee your number down.” Even if you get lucky and say a grammatically correct sentence, heads will still turn. Your accent, mannerisms, or something will still give you away. You are always very aware that you are a foreigner.


2) Forget to put a coat & hat on your child between October & May. It doesn’t matter what the weather is, this is an unwritten rule in Ukraine. Fail to dress your child for an arctic blizzard and you risk the wrath of every older lady between here & Moscow. They are not shy in sharing their opinion either. You are either an evil or unbelievably stupid parent. The experience of getting yelled at by total strangers takes some getting used to, but it’s not too bad.


3) Walk your dog through an open-casket funeral. This recently happened to me as I unsuspectingly opened the door to our building’s only entrance. There was on open casket, flowers, icons, priests, a hearse, pall-bearers, the works. The crowd was set so that the building entrance was the focal point, and the dog & I were center stage. I almost crossed myself and said, “May she rest in peace.” There was no room to walk around the crowd, so I walked through it. Awkward, but when the dog has to go, he has to go….


I am sure we will add to this list as time goes on. Learning to laugh at yourself is an important survival skill!

Superiority Complex

In his book Cross-Cultural Servanthood, Duane Elmer shares how in his many years of research and experience he asked people from many different cultures how missionaries could be more effective in representing Christ in their culture. The most common answer he received was, "Missionaries could more effectively minister the Gospel of Christ if they did not think they were so superior to us."


Now no missionary I know would claim to be superior to the culture they are living and ministering in. After, however, you spend 6 months or a year in a place where people appear to be much more rude & reserved than you are used to, a place where your apartment stairwells are filthy & smell like a combination of urine & vomit, a place where apathy, alcoholism, & a lack of efficiency seem to be ever present, then feelings of superiority come flying to the surface.

One of the most frustrating aspects of this first year on the mission field is the lack of ministry opportunities for us, and how unexpectedly slow it’s been building relationships with the people here. It’s been a time of learning to let our original expectations die & open ourselves up to the purposes God may have for us during this time. I think one of those purposes has been to expose and deal with a superiority complex that is more ingrained in us than we realize. It is a humbling reminder that in order to bring about change through the Gospel, we ourselves must continually be changed by its truth.

Breakthrough

About a month ago I was yelled at, quite abrasively by some older ladies. I had let Hanjik pee on a bush right in front of our apartment building. I even had one lady follow me to the door telling me all of the other places that Hanjik could go the bathroom.  I didn’t know that people who live on the 1^st floor of an apartment are allowed a small area to grow flowers (So apparently this was someone’s flower garden….whoops!). All I could say in Russian was that I was sorry.  Maybe it’s good that I couldn’t understand everything because even with the little I could understand I must admit that my reaction was less than “Christ-like”. These ladies sit outside on this bench for hours every day.  I’ve heard them yell at other people.  They seem to have little purpose besides watching and waiting to yell at anyone who does something wrong.  After this encounter I knew that it would take time to undo what happened. After smiling at them and saying hi every day for weeks, they have finally started to smile back! They have started to ask questions about Hanjik and where we are from. One lady even informed me that the elevator was broken so I should call Gabe to have him help carry Esther and the stroller up the stairs. They always enjoy seeing Esther and smile when she waves hi. One of these ladies asked if we liked it here.  When I told her yes, she replied with surprise that she didn’t know why.  My heart went out to her as I see her life with no hope.  Even though I can’t minister much through my words because of the lack of language I pray that the Lord can shine through my presence.

Kolya Then & Now

Kolya

Last month we were able to visit the transitional home in Kiev we ministered in 5-6 years ago. The same Ukrainian couple (Bogdan & Anya) are still running the home, and it was wonderful to catch up with them.  They usually have anywhere from 10-20 orphan graduates staying with them (in 2 different buildings located on the same small piece of property).  It was neat to hear about the kids who have come through the home, although it certainly made us feel old since some of them now have families of their own!  By God's grace many of them seem to be walking with the Lord.
     The highlight of the evening for us was getting to see Kolya again.  Some of you may remember Kolya was the boy I was forced to return to the orphanage 6 years ago. We were very close and that was a heartbreaking time for both of us.  He wasn't the same kid after that, turning bitter and cynical.  Bogdan & Anya didn't give up on him however, and now he has made a confession of faith, been baptized, and is pursuing Christ!
     It was exciting for me to see kids who I first met in the orphanage 7-8 years ago doing so well.  As a result of Bogdan & Anya's ministry, the culture at this orphanage is gradually changing.  The children are realizing that there are other options besides crime & alcohol.  It is very rewarding to see this ministry bearing fruit & exceeding the expectations it was begun with.  We pray we can have a similar ministry to the children here in Odessa!

Our trip downtown

 I put Esther in the stroller and we were off to the bus stop. Unfortunately the elevators didn’t work but at least we are just on the 5^th floor.  You never know how long you are going to wait for the bus it could be a couple minutes or 20 minutes. So as soon as I see the bus coming, I quickly fold up the stroller, sling the diaper bag on my shoulder, grab Esther, and make sure I have the bus fare in my hand. Even though it’s one of the beginning stops there still aren’t any seats. It’s definitely not easy (or should I say safe) to stand up on a lurching bus holding Esther and the stroller while I’m holding onto the rail…do I even have a free hand?! Fortunately there is always someone who will give up their seat since I have a baby. It takes less than a minute before sweat is already running down your back. They don’t really believe in opening the windows even when it’s 85 and humid. And if they do have them open, if they see a baby, they will close them b/c they don’t want the baby to get sick from the breeze. A good Ukrainian slogan would be "If you're not sweating, we're not satisfied!"  The bus ride downtown takes about 40 minutes. I am blessed that Esther usually does really well on the bus even when she is all sweaty. There was an old lady who sat down next to us and just talked away. She let Esther put her legs on her lap and went on about how good Esther was. She didn’t go longer than 15 seconds before she started talking about something else. I understood maybe a quarter of what she was saying to me. I was able to answer the few questions she asked so I don’t think she knew that I didn’t really understand much. I just prayed that I could minister to her by listening. It was wonderful to feel a breeze when we got off the bus. We walked around seeing all the vendors and then grabbed ice cream and went to the park. It was so nice to see a park that was clean with well cut green grass. You weren’t supposed to go on the grass but it was nice to look at. We also went into a big children’s store which of course Esther loved. They even had someone dressed up as Mickey Mouse! I couldn’t believe it. Esther just smiled and went right over to him. But when she started coming back to me and realized that Mickey was following her, she got this panicked look and quickly held up her hands to me.  All in all it was a fun day.

Don't Always Agree

The other week we received a box from Sarah's parents.  I was talking with the young man who delivered the box, and he was very curious about why we are in Ukraine.  I was able to tell him some about what we are doing, but I couldn't understand everything he was saying.  As I told him this, he nodded sympathetically and said (still in Russian), "Yeah, Russian is a debilniy language."  I didn't understand that word (debilniy), but I figured he meant it was a hard language so I agreed.  That word sounded familiar though.  Later I remembered that I had heard that word at an orphanage years before (it's slang), and it means "retarded".  So here is this guy I'm trying to witness to, and I agree with him that his native language is retarded and backwards.  Score another one for me.  I guess it's not always safe to be agreeable.