There are obviously many ways to embarrass yourself in life, but on the mission field it just seems easier. Those of you who know my dad might argue it’s just the Sturley syndrome (if you’re reading this dad, sorry), but it certainly reaches another level over here.
1) Talk. That’s really all you have to do. When you are approached on the street you instantly get that feeling of panic and think, “Please oh please don’t talk to me.” An example…. the Russian verbs “to write” and “to pee” are very similar. This leads to some very unfortunate situations….. “Wait just a second, I have to go write.” “Could you pee the word in my notebook so I know how to spell it?” “Hold on, let me pee your number down.” Even if you get lucky and say a grammatically correct sentence, heads will still turn. Your accent, mannerisms, or something will still give you away. You are always very aware that you are a foreigner.
2) Forget to put a coat & hat on your child between October & May. It doesn’t matter what the weather is, this is an unwritten rule in Ukraine. Fail to dress your child for an arctic blizzard and you risk the wrath of every older lady between here & Moscow. They are not shy in sharing their opinion either. You are either an evil or unbelievably stupid parent. The experience of getting yelled at by total strangers takes some getting used to, but it’s not too bad.
3) Walk your dog through an open-casket funeral. This recently happened to me as I unsuspectingly opened the door to our building’s only entrance. There was on open casket, flowers, icons, priests, a hearse, pall-bearers, the works. The crowd was set so that the building entrance was the focal point, and the dog & I were center stage. I almost crossed myself and said, “May she rest in peace.” There was no room to walk around the crowd, so I walked through it. Awkward, but when the dog has to go, he has to go….
I am sure we will add to this list as time goes on. Learning to laugh at yourself is an important survival skill!
